It seems that my post last night read offensively, which was not my intention.
Master's legacy is a daunting one to be faced with. He has a very long history in the lifestyle, and a very respected name. When I think of things in terms of His legacy, I get nervous and scared. Will I live up to the collar? Would His ancestors approve of His collaring me? Have I proven myself worthy of His collar, His line, His legacy?
Facing those questions is easier for me than others, in my own naive way. I have the spirits of my own lifestyle ancestors helping to guide my way, helping my navigate the seas of submission. The double legacy is both a blessing and a curse, in some ways.
It is a blessing because of the respect the lines both garner. It is the fact that both of our ancestors have overcome so much for us to be able to enjoy our lifestyle.
It is also a curse in some ways. When a lifestyle person needs answers to questions, once they hear you have a legacy, or are owned by a legacy, or both, they ask you the questions and expect the right answers right away.
I guess the strangest thing about these questions, these feelings, is the feeling of inadequacy when I am asked a question I do not know the answer to. I feel like I am letting Master down, His ancestors down, and my own ancestors down. It is something I have to work on, getting past these feelings and fears.
When I am not sure if I am doing the right things, if I am going the right way, I feel the hands of both legacies guiding me along, being sure I do what is needed, what is right.
I can only hope, wish, and pray that I live up to the expectations of both lines, but, more importantly, that I make Master proud and happy.
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